“Momfessions”

They say that confession is good for the soul. So these are my “momfessions.” You know, the deep dark secrets of parenthood that nobody likes to talk about. All of you other parents out there can read them. Perhaps you will find comfort in my quirkiness. Or maybe you will have something in common with me, and realize that the strange little thought rolling around in your mind isn’t so strange after all. Or maybe you will just get a little chuckle.

So (DEEP BREATH) here goes:

• I am a little embarrassed when my kids wear some goofy combination of clothing in public (say, a Steelers Jersey with basketball shorts). This is coming from the woman who has, in her own younger days, worn multiple colors of socks at one time and suspenders. Backward suspenders. Can you say hypocrite?
• I am conversely proud when my kids do goofy things with their hair (mohawks, shaved pictures, weird colors, you name it). I think this takes guts.
• I make my children make their beds frequently, but almost never make my own bed. I plan on getting back into it as soon as possible.
• I let my laundry pile up for so long, that by the time I do it, there are clothes in there that I have forgotten I own.
• I have actually gotten mad at my children when they tell me they have no more clean underwear.
• Speaking of my children’s underwear, when my children were small, it was community property. I have two boys, and they would get whichever underwear was clean. I realize that this is disgusting and that underwear should really be a single user item. But they are boys, and they DO NOT CARE. So why should I?
• If all three of my pets were to simultaneously run away, I would miss them terribly. Some part of me would also be secretly glad that I had three fewer breathing things to be responsible for.
• Despite the fact that neither of my children have slept in my bed for YEARS, I am still lonely for them when they are having a sleepover at someone else’s house.
• This time it was me, not the kids, who ate almost the entire box of Sam’s Club M&M cookies.
• I think that one reason for having kids is so that they can do the dirty, smelly jobs you don’t want to do yourself…like picking up the dog poop. I am deeply concerned about who will do these jobs when the children grow up and move out…
• The day that my children outgrew Disney animated films was seriously one of the saddest days of my life.
• When my sons talk about sports, sometimes all I hear is “blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.”
• Final confession: I originally wrote most this list 8 years ago, when my two sons were 4 and 6 years old.

I share all of this to say, don’t be so hard on yourselves, parents! My kids have survived all of my madness into their teen years, and so far, they seem to be doing okay. Throughout the craziness, I have experienced the joys and frustrations of being a mom. Some things got easier as the years went on (they eventually learned to match their clothes!); some things got harder (homework!). I also got better at some things (now that they are teenagers, everybody has their own under-gutchies!). If you allow yourself permission to be imperfect, your children will benefit by knowing that they, too, can make mistakes and that you will understand them with all of their quirks. Just do your best, love them, and enjoy the ride.